Brit's back, Elle's nips, Scarlett's artsy, and LL is naughty as usual

-- Elle MacPherson and her 43 year old hot bod was out for all to see recently. This woman is simply amazing, and her nips aren't bad either. I don't know what she does to keep her foxy looks, but it sure is working. We might need to rename the Diane Lane Hottie Posse to Elle's Elite.



-- I don't know if these pictures of Scarlett are old or new, but who cares. The ones with her and Dita Von Teese are smoking hot.






-- So lets get all of the facts straight. First Britney laid off the Cheetos and Bon-bons and got back to her pop-star sexpot shape. Then she laid down the smack down on K-Fag and filed for divorce against his poser ass. Then she showed up all over NYC and specifically on Letterman with her new hot bod and new 'do. So where in all of this did her giant jumblies reappear? I need someone to do an accurate time line like you used to see in your history books. We can sandwich Britney's boobs reappearance with Anna Nicole's horrific C-section being shown on Entertainment Tonight and K-Fag's free concert at the House of Blues last night.

-- My favorite little giraffe girl has been in hiding lately, but now she's back. Lindsay Lohan was out shopping, wearing a sweater with an anchor pointed at her naughty bits. This girl just epitomizes class. Is she advertising that she's easy like Sunday morning now? I guess if she's not going to show us the goods, she wants to make sure we are thinking about her wrinkled bits. Seriously, I hope girls aren't growing up everywhere emulating her. A better role model would be Betty Crocker. Or Aunt Jemimah. Or my office chair. And in true Lindsay fashion, the last one shows her nip.



HC

Halloween was actually scary in Hollywood

I thought Scarlett and Gisele's costumes were bad enough, and I had hoped that would be the end to this ridiculousness. I was wrong.

Here's what went horribly wrong this Halloween --


Paris showed up as a "sexy" cop. Here's the easy joke: I guess she can handle all of the breathalizer tests for the force. Oh wait, you can't test BAC down there... Here's the creative joke: I guess the K-9 unit is off tonight...



Lindsay showed up in a leotard and leg warmers. Wow, a lot of thought went into that one. Why didn't she just come in a flight suit with the "Danger Zone" playing in the background?






Hillary Duff came as a bad version Lindsay Lohan. She could have at least come dressed in a giant ball of red yarn if she wanted to look like Firecrotch. And what's up with the UPS guy in the pictures? Did they pick him up off the street? He looks like he won some contest and the only thing that could make him happier would be if Ryan Seacrest showed up to give him a reach-around.





Jennifer Love Hewitt pulled herself and her giant jugs out from under some rock to show up as Charlie Chaplin. Charlie Chaplin? Way to be current JLove. She looks more like Hitler than Chaplin anyway. Why didn't she just show up as Abraham Lincoln and her "companion" could have been a slave. Lame with a capital L.



Bill Maher came as "bad taste," and Chris Klein came as a greasy slice of pizza, which is only a decent costume because he usually looks like a turd that came from a giant slice of pizza.




Mariah Carey came as a Mer-man. Is it me or is she getting manly-er by the day? If she didn't have that giant weave and wasn't so top heavy, I'd expect half expect her to be standing next to me at the urinal.






Alyssa Milano came as a fairy. I really can't say anything bad about this one because she looks pretty damn hot. A+ in my book.



Heidi Klum and Seal came as some kind of Garden of Eden combo costume. See this is WAY too confusing. Seal is supposed to be Eve, a woman with blonde hair? But I thought Heidi was the woman... I guess Eve couldn't be preggo because THAT would have been way more inappropriate.




This is what Heidi should have come "dressed" as.

Xtina came as the Corpse Bride. And her douche-bag husband came as a corpse. Why does she hang out with this loser? He looks like he has the personality of one of her sex toys. He's changed her from a girl who wore ass-less chaps in a video to one who comes completely clothed to a Halloween party. And Halloween is the sexiest of all of the October Holidays!

I don't know who any of these girls are, but these are definitely the best costumes of the bunch....

HC

Nips Ahoy!

Not much going on, but the nip slip seems to be the fad in Hollywood right now, so I thought I'd hook you guys up.

--First up, my favorite little giraffe girl. I know we've seen all of her Kibbles and Bits before, but these are new and she's still hot and a nipple is a nipple. What I'm really wondering these days is if this is really a nip slip though. In the last 2 months we've seen her sans panties twice and now her nips are out on display. Either her mom never taught her how to cover her privates in public or she's got some ulterior motive. Hmmmmm

-- Now we have a pair of OC nip slips for your enjoyment. I've never seen an episode of the OC and frankly don't even know if it's still on the air. But I do know that Rachel Bilson is "girl next door" hot and Mischa Barton ain't too bad on the eyes either.

HC