So, I know it's been 2 weeks since I've posted and I'm not sure if anyone really cares, but I'm not making any excuses. Except of course that I'm one lazy bastard and that should be enough for all of you. So what I've decided to do is an entire post of bikinis because contrary to normal thinking, winter is bikini season. At least it is when you can head out to Fiji or the Caribbean for the holidays. My lame ass was stuck at home doing absolutely nothing but, watching football and eating bag after bag of Cheetos.
-- One thing first before I get on to the celebrity swimsuit show. Have you guys seen all of these clips of the Donald Trump / Rosie O'Donnell Feud? This stuff is pure comedy. I guess Rosie jabbed at The Donald for going easy on the stripper turned Miss USA last month. Well The Donald and his wacky hair have had some classic quotes. From calling her a "degenerate", "a slob", and "disgusting" he just keeps ranting daily about that fat cow. Personally, I find it completely hilarious. I mean, lets be serious. Being a big, fat dyke is no way to go through life.
Check out The Donald's videos here:
But since this is supposed to be a post filled with hotties, here are some nude pics of The Donald's current wife Melania. And damn is she a hottie, check her out
here and
here.
Grrrrrrrr.
-- Now on to the bikinis, first up we have Jessica's little sister making some news herself. No, she didn't have her face hit with a mallet again nor was she booed at the Orange bowl again. Ashlee Simpson was at the beach of course, in her bikini. What a weird body this girl has compared to her sister. Jessica has all the curves and Ashlee looks like an androgynous GI Joe action figure. Whatever, her nipple popped out of her bikini and that's all we really care about. At least all I care about.
-- Next up is Fantastic Four's Invisible Woman herself, Jessica Alba. Too bad her bikini isn't invisible but, we'll take whatever we can get. At least she's got some serious nipple action going on and a damn sweet booty. Too bad that bikini combo looks like Stevie Wonder picked it out...
-- Now we have Jessica Biel playing some form of beach ping pong on the beach. What the hell kind of game is that? Whatever it is, if it contributed to her buff-ass arms, sign me up. What's weird is that the only games I play on the beach are "how much sand can I fill my crack with?" and "how many times can someone get sunburned before they learn their lesson?" - I'm currently at 212 times, beat that!
-- And last up in the bikini showdown is the MILF entry of the week in Catherine Zeta Jones. Damn she looks good for being in her late 30's and having popped out a couple kids. I guess she must be drinking some special potion or eating her husband's magic beans to keep looking so hot. Whatever it is, I could care less as long as she keeps showing off those sweet cans, and good lord she's got some great cans. She's my vote for hottest winter bikini wearer of '07.
-- And lastly, this isn't bikini related (well it could be, but I didn't feel like making anyone puke today), I just HAD to post the video of Tara Reid on New Years. First off, I don't know who would go to a party with Tara Reid as the host unless you were looking for a booze and drug fueled orgy - oh yeah...me. And second off, has she lost her mind? What a whack job. If I counted like that, I'd have 18 fingers and 4 peckers.
HC
