Salma and Kate's jumblies, Paris and Nikki & Mariah & Mary

-- I found these pictures of Salma Hayek was out last week at some event, showing off her enormous boobies, so I decided I would talk about them again just for the hell of it. But then the news came out that she and the twins were voted 2006 Best Nude scene by Mr. Skin and she got bumped up to story numero uno (That's story number 1 for our non-tamale eating friends). The were for some movie called Ask the Dust and you can watch it here and here. They are kind of blurry and dark, but you can still see those giant jumblies. And honestly, if Salma is naked and doesn't have a mustache and uni brow like in Frida, I'm a fan.



-- Kate Moss was in Jamaica recently showing off her 10-year old boy physique and a couple topless pictures have shown up. You can see them here, here, and here, but I don't know who would want to look at them. Seriously, unless you find virtually non-existent boobs with pencil erasers sticking off of them for nipples attractive, these pictures aren't for you. If her boobs were food, they would be tater-tots on top of half a hamburger bun. Okay, I'll stop. Or, a milk dud on top of a portabello mushroom. Now I'm done.

-- Who knows what the hell these 2 whores are doing, but you can't tell me that you wouldn't mind jumping in the back of that limo for half an hour. Mainly for 2 reasons though. First off, I'd have to ask what the hell they were doing in that 2nd picture (my guess is trading STD's - you can trade them like baseball cards right?) and secondly because Paris has probably done just about everything, so who better to give a Dirty Sanchez too. Actually, I'd only do it if I had my patented Aids - B - Gone spray. In the gallon container.

-- And lastly Mariah Carey is trying to block the porn star / gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey from trademarking her name because she feels there could be some confusion. Damn right there could be some confusion, they are both big breasted bimbos with no talent. Mariah may have sold a lot more albums, but I bet Mary has sold a lot more hummers. And look at their pictures, they actually do look slightly similar. Kind of like how I look like George Clooney and my wiener looks like a horse's junk. Maybe if Mariah wants to stop being confused with a saggy-boobed, slightly flabby porn star, she should stop parading around as a saggy-boobed, slightly flabby pop star.

HC

Stuff from all over - Thanksgiving edition

I needed to dedicate an entire post to Britney and her bald beaver, but there were plenty of other mildly interesting stories over the last week that I need to catch up on too.
So, away we go!

-- Oops Brit did it again. God that was lame. Anyway, in another attempt to show off her roast beef curtains, Britney was once again photographed without panties. You can check out her stubbly crotch here and here. But lets be honest here, Britney is going to need to step it up a notch to keep our attention. I'm looking for some kind of sex act performed on top of a limo. Or even a video where she goes to a comedy club and throws out racial slurs. Let's be original Britney, that hatchet-wound is yesterday's news. (Who am I kidding, of course I'll keep putting up her pics if she keeps flashing - I'm a T&A whore). Here are some other pics of Britney and her wacky boobs. What the hell is going on with them? They are swinging around in that tank top like she's got a couple cantaloupes attached to rubber bands in there. I don't think I've ever wanted to be a rubber band so badly....



-- Looks like Paris found a little time in between being Britney's BFF and snorting lines of coke, to get hammered with Sideshow Bob and let her boob fall out. But like I said with Britney, does this surprise anyone anymore? I mean, Paris has had a sex video that her parents are proud of, flashed her cooch half a dozen times and done multiple seasons of The Simple Life. Does it get much more degrading than that that? I'd love to see her serving me a Blizzard at Dairy Queen one day. If there is a God, this will happen. Here are the pictures of her drunk ass hanging on Senor Douche-bag and here's her boob for the ump-teenth time.





-- Ashley Judd is naked on the newest cover of Marie Clare magazine. Nothing too exciting, but naked none the less. Judging by the hits this site gets when we show Britney or Lindsay's who-ha's, I doubt any of you are big fans of Marie Clare. Why you ask? Probably because their headline articles this month are "My Baby or my Job" and no, this isn't the K-Fed story. Or how about these page-turners, "Be the life of the party (without the hangover)" or "Dress up for under $100". How can you be "the life of the party" and not have a hangover? Isn't that a requirement of being the life of the party. That's how my parties are at least; they don't get going until someone falls off of their barstool. And what are you dressing up for for less than $100? Your job at Goodwill? I can't go out without my frilly flamingo underwear and those run a cool G. Players will be players I guess.



-- Courtney Love got naked for some magazine in Europe and I can't tell if she's hot. From some angles she looks pretty hot, but from others she looks like the Marlboro Man or the lead singer from Twisted Sister. Check her out here, here, here, and here. She's turned down offers from Playboy and Penthouse in the past, so why did she do it now? Even a schoolgirl knows the weed is much better in Europe.

-- Sad news out of Hollywood when we all found out that Bob Ritchie and Pam Anderson were calling it quits after a whole 4 months. What a shocker. I wish I could bet on things like this. I would have easily laid down a grand on under a year for the length of this dirty union. Or if I could bet on which Olsen twin would get knocked up first, I'd put a ton on Mary Kate. We all know she's the slutty one.





-- I know I talked about Salma's boobs last week, but they've popped out again. These things are just masterpieces. Anyone who says there isn't a God should just gaze on those jumblies.







-- And last but not least, Ben Affleck brought a dude with him to some GQ event. Wha, wha, what? That's not a dude?? That's Jennifer Garner?!?!!?!? No f'ng way. Holy crap she looks like a transvestite hooker if I've ever seen one, and I've been to New Orleans and Cleveland, so I've seen plenty. Goo. I don't even know what to say. I'm just going to have to pretend these pictures never happened or pretend that I never worked one out to the pictures of her as Electra.






Okay, I should be decently caught up. New stuff from now on, as long as I don't continue to be a slack ass. Oh yeah, that probably won't happen.


HC

Biel's booty, Salma stripping, and more

-- Jessica Biel has quite a ba-donk-a-donk. It's like a shelf. A fantastic shelf made of gold that serves free beer all day long. It really is a work of art. Screw Michelangelo and his sculptures. Jessica's booty is the new St. Bootylicious.



-- So I've never seen this Ugly Betty show, but I can only imagine it is about ugly people, circus performers and maybe carnies with a title like that. But, then I came along this clip from the show with smoking Salma Hayek. Grrrrrrrrr! I don't know if she is on this show all the time, and I seriously doubt I will ever watch a show about freaks, but that's an impressive rack. And what time is this TV show on? If it is on before 9PM, I'd be shocked if they let them show those milk-makers when kids could be watching. I'm just happy to see some new pics of Salma so I can try to replace the images of her and that uni-brow from Frida. Yuck.

Here's the YouTube clip:




More pics of Salma stripping...



-- Here are some pics of celebs in new magazines coming out this month. Should make for some sexy holiday reading!

First is Cameron Diaz in W Magazine. She looks pretty damn hot with those dark locks. I can't even name the last movie she was in though, so hopefully this was some press on something new she's coming out with.

Pics from the magazine:





Oops from the photo shoot:


--Next up is Monica Bellucci in GQ Magazine. She hasn't done much in the US since The Passion of the Christ, so like Diaz, lets hope this is a sign of more of her to come.







-- And last we have Jeri Ryan. Jeri's focused mainly on TV work the last couple of years and at age 38 (she turns 39 in 3 months) she's definitely an honorary member of the Diane Lane Hottie club. I need to find out where those monthly meetings are, that is one hot group of cougars...




HC