Thursday, November 30, 2006

Stuff from all over - Thanksgiving edition

I needed to dedicate an entire post to Britney and her bald beaver, but there were plenty of other mildly interesting stories over the last week that I need to catch up on too.
So, away we go!

-- Oops Brit did it again. God that was lame. Anyway, in another attempt to show off her roast beef curtains, Britney was once again photographed without panties. You can check out her stubbly crotch here and here. But lets be honest here, Britney is going to need to step it up a notch to keep our attention. I'm looking for some kind of sex act performed on top of a limo. Or even a video where she goes to a comedy club and throws out racial slurs. Let's be original Britney, that hatchet-wound is yesterday's news. (Who am I kidding, of course I'll keep putting up her pics if she keeps flashing - I'm a T&A whore). Here are some other pics of Britney and her wacky boobs. What the hell is going on with them? They are swinging around in that tank top like she's got a couple cantaloupes attached to rubber bands in there. I don't think I've ever wanted to be a rubber band so badly....



-- Looks like Paris found a little time in between being Britney's BFF and snorting lines of coke, to get hammered with Sideshow Bob and let her boob fall out. But like I said with Britney, does this surprise anyone anymore? I mean, Paris has had a sex video that her parents are proud of, flashed her cooch half a dozen times and done multiple seasons of The Simple Life. Does it get much more degrading than that that? I'd love to see her serving me a Blizzard at Dairy Queen one day. If there is a God, this will happen. Here are the pictures of her drunk ass hanging on Senor Douche-bag and here's her boob for the ump-teenth time.





-- Ashley Judd is naked on the newest cover of Marie Clare magazine. Nothing too exciting, but naked none the less. Judging by the hits this site gets when we show Britney or Lindsay's who-ha's, I doubt any of you are big fans of Marie Clare. Why you ask? Probably because their headline articles this month are "My Baby or my Job" and no, this isn't the K-Fed story. Or how about these page-turners, "Be the life of the party (without the hangover)" or "Dress up for under $100". How can you be "the life of the party" and not have a hangover? Isn't that a requirement of being the life of the party. That's how my parties are at least; they don't get going until someone falls off of their barstool. And what are you dressing up for for less than $100? Your job at Goodwill? I can't go out without my frilly flamingo underwear and those run a cool G. Players will be players I guess.



-- Courtney Love got naked for some magazine in Europe and I can't tell if she's hot. From some angles she looks pretty hot, but from others she looks like the Marlboro Man or the lead singer from Twisted Sister. Check her out here, here, here, and here. She's turned down offers from Playboy and Penthouse in the past, so why did she do it now? Even a schoolgirl knows the weed is much better in Europe.

-- Sad news out of Hollywood when we all found out that Bob Ritchie and Pam Anderson were calling it quits after a whole 4 months. What a shocker. I wish I could bet on things like this. I would have easily laid down a grand on under a year for the length of this dirty union. Or if I could bet on which Olsen twin would get knocked up first, I'd put a ton on Mary Kate. We all know she's the slutty one.





-- I know I talked about Salma's boobs last week, but they've popped out again. These things are just masterpieces. Anyone who says there isn't a God should just gaze on those jumblies.







-- And last but not least, Ben Affleck brought a dude with him to some GQ event. Wha, wha, what? That's not a dude?? That's Jennifer Garner?!?!!?!? No f'ng way. Holy crap she looks like a transvestite hooker if I've ever seen one, and I've been to New Orleans and Cleveland, so I've seen plenty. Goo. I don't even know what to say. I'm just going to have to pretend these pictures never happened or pretend that I never worked one out to the pictures of her as Electra.






Okay, I should be decently caught up. New stuff from now on, as long as I don't continue to be a slack ass. Oh yeah, that probably won't happen.


HC

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Britney's lost more than her husband...

Well, we're back from our extra-long Thanksgiving break. Hope everyone one had a good holiday by overeating, watching too much football, and getting into multiple family arguments. Who doesn't love the holidays? Mine was all right but a little lonely. Having Thanksgiving dinner with your 4 cats and 7 fish really isn't as exciting as it sounds. Especially trying to feed turkey to a beta.

-- I know this is a week late, but I have to give my Britney Spears update. And no, when I say "Britney's lost more than her husband", I don't mean that she lost her purse. Or her sanity But I might mean her pubes. Be patient, the good stuff is coming. So, Britney has had quite a whirlwind tour of trampiness since she filed for a divorce from her "No hit wonder" of a husband, K-Fed. First, she was in Miami showing off her giant jugs and dressed in a ridiculous Santa hat with a a blue bra on. Now she's in Las Vegas hanging out with Paris Hilton & Lindsay Lohan. So does it surprise anyone that she's letting her boobs hang out and forgetting her panties just to fit in with these tramps? She's on the crazy train to slutdom and count me in as one whose ready to see the real Britney. As long as the real Britney is her hot and naked and not fat and covered in Cheeto dust. The signs are becoming pretty obvious, as obvious as her bald beaver.

First, she started out with a simple panty shot here and here while out with Paris. Big deal, she's wearing blue panties. I can see that in Maxim. Now we start to get to the good stuff. These pics came out of her sans panties, once again hanging out with Paris. Check them out here and here. Now people have been saying they are fake or that she is wearing nude colored panties. Whatever, I see the stubble and the stubble never lies. And now on to the money shots. On a night when she was out with both Paris and Lindsay (here they are cruising in one of Paris' sweet rides and here Brit and Paris are obviously talking trash about Blohan), Britney pulled a patented Lohan move and showed off her naughty bits. Now honestly, I've been waiting about 5 years for these pictures, so I couldn't be happier. She has no reason not to do Playboy now since she's showed off all of the good stuff already.

Anyway, check them out here, here, here, here, here, and here. I don't know how Britney picked Paris and Lindsay as role models, but if they can cause women to just lose panties at the drop of a hat, I think we need to hook them up with Scarlett and Jessica. And maybe Rosie O'Donnell and Babs. Just checking to see if you were still awake.
Anyway, here are some more pictures of Britney and here giant mud cannons.




HC

Monday, November 20, 2006

Reality TV - A social experiment in lazy

-- In what must be the 874th case of a reality TV star getting a little too much publicity, Robin Hibbard from Real World: San Diego fame is now taking off her clothes and covering her gianormous boobies with bubbles. Why is this important? Well, it's not in the grand scheme of things, but I can't pass up boobs and bubbles (NOT Michael Jackson's monkey, Bubbles), and I think it's important to share them with you. I've watched the Real World for years as well as every edition of Real World / Road Rules Challenge. From The Duel to The Gauntlet to the Toilet, I've been there, and part of the reason I've stayed tuned is for Robin's giant jugs and my secret hope that on one of the challenges they'll be unveiled.

Anyway, I guess the real question is, when will the 15 minutes run out for these MTV "stars"? Who would have ever thought that The Real World would last 18 seasons! I don't know what magic formula they've found, but I find it pretty amazing that if you end up being cast on one of these shows, you won't have to have a "real job" from the age of 22 to about 38ish (Beth, who Tina claims to be like punching a frozen pig, has to be pushing 40). No talent required, just loose morals and a desire to become famous. Unreal.

Well without further ado, let's extend Robin's fifteen minutes:

Without bubbles...




And with bubbles...





HC

Friday, November 17, 2006

Weekend Watershed

-- Have you noticed that winter is coming? You can see the leaves changing, feel the crisp morning air when you get up and have probably noticed that the grass is pretty cold on your feet when you let the dog out in the morning to take his daily dump. Well there is another way that you can tell that the seasons are a changin' - nipples are on full alert all over town. My town, your town, all towns. Trust me, with a degree in nippleology, I've been studying this phenomenon for years. Well to prove it to you, here's Jennifer Garner and her pokies. If these pictures don't say "Wintertime" and "Christmas is right around the corner" then you are obviously blind and a damn fool.




-- Joss Stone was at a UK Hall of Fame event with a completely new look. And I am utterly confused. She was hot before like here and here and incredible in a bikini here. But now she's gone punk and dyed her hair red. I mean don't get me wrong, she's still hot, but now in a dirty, ass-less chaps in the French Quarter kind of way. I do rather enjoy the boot selection though. Too bad she didn't go to the Lindsay Lohan finishing school and "accidentally" flash her naughty bits.



-- Here we have some pictures of Scarlett in red, black, and nipply. I have no idea when these pictures are from, they could be from 3 years ago, or they could be from the party I had at my crib last night. All I know is that I don't think I've ever wanted to be a spider so much in my life.




-- I don't know what fountain of youth Elizabeth Hurley has been going to, but she needs to pass that info on. I think every time we see her, she looks better and better. Hurley falls right in line with the Diane Lane / Elle MacPherson / Renee Russo Hottie Posse. These women aren't just your dad's pin-ups anymore!



-- LOOK! OUT TO THE STARBOARD SIDE! IT'S THE ELUSIVE WHALETAIL! AND THE ALYSSA MILANO VERSION AT THAT. WHAT A SPECTACULAR DAY OUT ON THE OPEN SEAS TO SEE SUCH SIGHT.


HC

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Sports Crumbs - 11/16/06

-- So there's a pretty big foosball game this weekend. North Carolina vs. North Carolina State? No, it's not basketball season yet. Florida vs. Florida State? No, that's next weekend and it's not 1995. Central Michigan vs. Northern Illinois? That is this weekend, and although battles between directional schools always prove interesting, there is another Michigan school with a much bigger challenge on their hands. Ohio State vs. Michigan at 2:30 PM CT this weekend is the match up of the season. Or at least that's what ESPN would have you believe. They've had a countdown clock running on this match up for at least 3 weeks now, so I'm happy the game is almost here because unless you live in Ohio or Michigan (which means by the way that you only have one full set of teeth combined in your family) you don't really care about all of this hoopla leading up to the game. We get it, #1 vs. #2 in one of the biggest rivalries in college football. I'm a huge college football fan, so I'd watch this game regardless of their rankings. I just don't need it shoved down my throat for the entire month leading up to this game because I don't even think this one will live up to the Rutgers v. Louisville game from last week. If Ohio State plays half as well as they played against Texas earlier this year, I don't see Michigan staying within ten points of the Buckeyes. With Troy Smith getting ready to have his name engraved on the Heisman, Ted Ginn Jr. still running rampant through secondaries and Jim Tressel simply owning Lloyd Carr since he arrived in Columbus (4-1 record), I just don't see the Buckeyes being stopped in their march to Glendale, AZ and the Fiesta Bowl.

-- In baseball news, the Manager's of the Year were announced and Joe Girardi - formerly of the Florida Marlins - and Jim Leyland of the World Series-choking Detroit Tigers were the winners. Kind of interesting how Girardi has already been fired and the #3 vote getter in the AL (Ken Macha from Oakland) has also been fired. Maybe if the Marlins payroll wasn't the lowest in the league by a full $20 mil, they could be more competitive but I don't see how firing the coach here helps at all. And people wonder why no one goes to Marlins games and they are talking about moving them to Vegas. The guy in the giant Marlin costume could do a better job with this team, and he probably doesn't know a thing about baseball unless it relates to riding a scooter around the stadium and shooting a T-shirt cannon.

-- And lastly, I'm sure you've probably heard about this, but I just wanted to weigh in on it too. O.J. Simpson will be doing a TV interview on FOX titled "O.J. Simpson: If I did it, Here's how it happened" that will air on November 27th & 29th. This is simply unreal to me. This guy gets away with murdering 2 people 12 years ago and just won't go away. He got his "get out of jail" free card but just keeps coming back. And why would FOX agree to actually paying him for this? Well, that's an easy one, FOX will show anything - I seem to recall a Man vs. Animal show and watching Screech box on Celebrity Boxing deserves it's own column. Anyway, the Juice just needs to take this act and get the hell out of here. He should go to some Caribbean island where they show re-runs of Naked Gun and Dragnet and film new Hertz commercials. Or maybe Isotoner is looking for a new spokesperson.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Sports Crumbs - 11/14/06

-- Early reports are that the Boston Red Sox bid $42 million just for the rights to negotiate with prized Japanese star Daisuke Matsuzaka. No, that's not a misprint. $42 million just to negotiate? Who is this guy, the Japanese version of Bob Gibson? Besides Ichiro, when have any of these Japanese players lived up to any of their lofty expectations? Hideki Matsui is a good player, but I wouldn't put him in the top 10 outfielders in the game right now. And who can forget Hideo Nomo who started this all off. The only way he's been successful is by switching leagues more times than Anne Heche switched teams. I don't have a problem with any teams signing him, it just seems ridiculous to spend that kind of cash just for the right to negotiate with him. Honestly, I hope the Seibu Lions (his Japanese team) pull a fast one on the Sox and accept the money and then pull him off the market. They could issue a simple press release that says "We sooooo sawry."

-- Sammy Sosa thinks he's ready to return to the big leagues after taking a year off. Boy is this guy delusional. I guess the reason you didn't play last season had nothing to do with your .221 average, .376 slugging, 45 RBIs and 14 home runs in 102 games with the Orioles in 2005. Nothing at all to do with that. Most teams are completely willing to give aging steroid users max deals. Maybe he should start corking his bat again, that worked for a while. Or maybe he should pull his Capital Hill routine and say he can't speak English anymore. Give it up Sammy. You are just a bump in the road to cleaning up baseball so why don't you and Mark McGwire jump on a boat and go meet Mike Tyson in Bolivian.

-- In another damaging blow to my fantasy football team, Clinton Portis broke his right hand in the 1st quarter of Sunday's loss to the Philadelphia Eagles. This really isn't that big of news since he already missed a couple games with separated shoulder at the beginning of the season, but with Willis McGahee already out with 3 - count 'em 3! - broken ribs, my fantasy football team has really gone down the shitter. Throw in Tiki Barber's sprained thumb, and I'm settling into dead f'ng last. Sorry, I know no one cares, but I had to vent.

HC

Britney and Sienna hang out and Tara cleans up?

-- So, newly single Britney Spears was out and about, dressed like a damn freakshow last week. Who even puts all of those random items together? Santa Hat - check. Cowboy Boots - check. See-through half shirt with a blue bra (that looks like it only has one cup? WTF? I guess I shouldn't complain about seeing her nips.) - check. Short leather skirt - check. And some goofy ass sunglasses - check. This really isn't the best way to pick up guys, Britney. Putting your boobs on a platter for the world to see like you did last week is a much better plan than dressing like you just left the local Goodwill after shopping with Mike Tyson.




-- Who in the hell is Sienna Miller? I know she's been dating Jude Law or something and she's British which only means she has bad teeth and might know Austin Powers, but why is she famous? I guess I could look it up on the Internet, but boy am I lazy. This is about the extent of my Sienna Miller knowledge, she called Pittsburgh, Shitsburgh a couple months ago. That's it, that's all I've got. Done. I'm out. Well, if you care, here she is at the beach, sans her bikini top, and she's pretty damn hot.

-- Tara Reid is sober? Not possible you say? I would have agreed with you whole-heartedly until I came across these pictures of her at the premiere of The Fountain. So what do you think? Has she actually been photographed sober? I still think this is just a ploy to get her a role in some new movie, and not a permanent change. Showing up sober like this will surely revive her movie career with a role like Sorority Slut #4 in the new National Lampoon's Van Wilder movie or as Flasher #2 in the new Harold & Kumar movie.




HC