Britney's See-through, Scarlett's a Pussycat, and Pam is Photoshopped

-- First up today, we are going to start right off with the Queen of White Trash herself, Britney Spears. I don't know what's been up with this girl since she filed for divorce from Cletus himself - KFed, but she's starting to drift into Anna Nicole territory here. It started off with a couple exposed bra shots which really aren't a big deal now. Then it went to panty-less escapades and pictures of the cleanly shaven clam. Now that was fun and all for a little while, but honestly, even Britney's beaver can get old after a while. So what has she done now? Well, the only thing that would make sense. Wear a white lace top without a bra of course! I guess I really don't have a problem with her showing us all of her naughtiness one bit at a time, but I just wish she'd make the full leap to Playboy for one major reason......Photo shop.




-- And while we are on the subject of Photoshopping, has everyone seen the newest Playboy? First of all, who really wants to see Pamela Anderson in their Playboy anymore? She's been in it 10 or 15 times already, so does someone go to the new stand thinking they might see something new? Did she grow a 3rd boob while married to Kid Rock or something that I am not aware of?? Let's face the facts, Pam's looking haggard and tired and that barb wire tattoo is about as fresh as the cheese culture in the back of my fridge. One thing she did do that was mildly interesting / entertaining was dress up with the Pussycat Dolls for a show. Not that seeing her in lingerie is anything new, but she finally looks truly at home dressed as a stripper.

-- Another much hotter star also showed up with the Pussycat Dolls lately and no computer altering was needed. Well actually, we could use some computer X-ray glasses right about now but whatever. Beggars can't be choosers. Yes, the one and only hottest woman in Hollywood, Scarlett Johansson stripped down to her skives and shook her moneymaker with the Dolls. Oh Glorious day. And for the millionth time, who do I need to complain to about my ticket being lost in the mail???? Seriously though, these are some of the sexiest pictures I've seen since my grandma got her online dating profile mixed up with my birthday card. What a fantastic 8th birthday that was!





Scarlett's also appeared in some Louis Vuitton ads lately, which the gay guy in the cubicle next to me told me is not a type of liquor but a brand of purse. Who knew gays were so valuable? Anyway, her Pussycat pics are way better, but she is in her undies so I'm not complaining. But seriously, if you are shopping for a handbag and ended up at this site, you are either a complete fool or dip shit. You choose. Either way, here's Scarlett.



HC

Kennedy awards, Catalina runs, and another pair of missing panties

-- First up we have some stuff from the Kennedy Center Honors show earlier this week. This is some award show that looks pretty important since the Prez himself showed up - lucky he doesn't have any other important things going on... Well this year they were honoring Dolly Parton - was Erik Estrada not available? - and not for her gi-nourmous boobies, but for her acting / singing talents. Whatever, Dolly Parton isn't anything but a toothpick and water balloons, but for some reason they wanted to honor her. So who did they chose to sing the tribute? The one and only brain surgeon herself, Jessica Simpson. Now we all know that Jessica has a sweet little caboose, but isn't really the sharpest knife in the drawer. Or in the kitchen for that matter. Actually in the whole town. Anyway, I don't know if you've seen her rendition of "9 to 5" from the awards, but it is simply fantastic. Any performance that ends in the star running off the stage and crying is a 10 in my book. I understand that "9 to 5" personifies Dolly, but maybe they should have started with "Row, row, row your boat" if they wanted to avoid any mishaps with Jessica.

Here are some pics of her looking smoking hot as usual.



And here's the video



Also at the awards, was a downright sexy Shania Twain who looks like she's been hooked up to the rejuvenation machine the last couple of months. I don't know where she's been hiding, but I could always use a little Shania in my life. Maybe with new country hotties like Carrie Underwood, Shania felt the need to show off her hot bod to the country again. Whatever, I'm not complaining. A nip slip would have been nice though...
And on a side note, uh...did my invitation to this thing get lost in the mail? First the Victoria's Secret show goes off without my attendance and this too? You'd think I was just some random dude, blogging in my parent's basement. Oh...I am.




-- In what could be noted as some of the greatest celebrity news since well, the beginning of time, Scarlett Johansson has said that she doesn't have a problem baring those fabulous breasts of hers.

"I'm still making up my mind about when I'll do a nude scene. I'm not opposed to doing nudity, it would just have to be the right project, maybe some sensational European art film."
Scarlett, 22, insists she wouldn't be embarrassed about showing her naked curves on celluloid because she is very happy with her body, especially her breasts.
She added: "I'm proud of my breasts. I call them my girls. They're my charms, my feminine wiles. I'm very comfortable with my sexuality, my body and my face. Well, not always my face, but it's stuck there and there's nothing I can do about it."

Simply sensational news in my book. And let me be the first to offer up my filmmaking services. I don't have the most experience, but I definitely don't have the least. I've filmed our last 3 Christmases and 2 straight 4th of July's. And Jimmy is a son-of-a-bitch to keep in the frame. Crazy bastard. He runs around like a ferret on crack.

And she calls them "the girls"? Sometimes she seems like she is reading my mind, or at least my diary.





-- I don't know if any of you watch My Name is Earl, but if you don't you should, if only for (Catalina) Nadine Velazquez. Last week she was running from the police in her stripper outfit. Yes, you read that correctly. Here are the pics and I'm searching for the video. And I will not be denied. When it comes to boobs and eBay, I am undefeated.




-- And lastly, the fad of going Commando is spreading like wildfire throughout Hollywood. Now that you've all seen Britney's dirty cooter, the fad has worked it's way all the way to Miami. This one isn't as good as the past couple, but it isn't a bad ass shot.


Here's JLo and her sweet plumber crack.





HC

Weekend Watershed

-- Have you noticed that winter is coming? You can see the leaves changing, feel the crisp morning air when you get up and have probably noticed that the grass is pretty cold on your feet when you let the dog out in the morning to take his daily dump. Well there is another way that you can tell that the seasons are a changin' - nipples are on full alert all over town. My town, your town, all towns. Trust me, with a degree in nippleology, I've been studying this phenomenon for years. Well to prove it to you, here's Jennifer Garner and her pokies. If these pictures don't say "Wintertime" and "Christmas is right around the corner" then you are obviously blind and a damn fool.

-- Joss Stone was at a UK Hall of Fame event with a completely new look. And I am utterly confused. She was hot before like here and here and incredible in a bikini here. But now she's gone punk and dyed her hair red. I mean don't get me wrong, she's still hot, but now in a dirty, ass-less chaps in the French Quarter kind of way. I do rather enjoy the boot selection though. Too bad she didn't go to the Lindsay Lohan finishing school and "accidentally" flash her naughty bits.

-- Here we have some pictures of Scarlett in red, black, and nipply. I have no idea when these pictures are from, they could be from 3 years ago, or they could be from the party I had at my crib last night. All I know is that I don't think I've ever wanted to be a spider so much in my life.

-- I don't know what fountain of youth Elizabeth Hurley has been going to, but she needs to pass that info on. I think every time we see her, she looks better and better. Hurley falls right in line with the Diane Lane / Elle MacPherson / Renee Russo Hottie Posse. These women aren't just your dad's pin-ups anymore!

-- LOOK! OUT TO THE STARBOARD SIDE! IT'S THE ELUSIVE WHALETAIL! AND THE ALYSSA MILANO VERSION AT THAT. WHAT A SPECTACULAR DAY OUT ON THE OPEN SEAS TO SEE SUCH SIGHT.

HC

Brit's back, Elle's nips, Scarlett's artsy, and LL is naughty as usual

-- Elle MacPherson and her 43 year old hot bod was out for all to see recently. This woman is simply amazing, and her nips aren't bad either. I don't know what she does to keep her foxy looks, but it sure is working. We might need to rename the Diane Lane Hottie Posse to Elle's Elite.



-- I don't know if these pictures of Scarlett are old or new, but who cares. The ones with her and Dita Von Teese are smoking hot.






-- So lets get all of the facts straight. First Britney laid off the Cheetos and Bon-bons and got back to her pop-star sexpot shape. Then she laid down the smack down on K-Fag and filed for divorce against his poser ass. Then she showed up all over NYC and specifically on Letterman with her new hot bod and new 'do. So where in all of this did her giant jumblies reappear? I need someone to do an accurate time line like you used to see in your history books. We can sandwich Britney's boobs reappearance with Anna Nicole's horrific C-section being shown on Entertainment Tonight and K-Fag's free concert at the House of Blues last night.

-- My favorite little giraffe girl has been in hiding lately, but now she's back. Lindsay Lohan was out shopping, wearing a sweater with an anchor pointed at her naughty bits. This girl just epitomizes class. Is she advertising that she's easy like Sunday morning now? I guess if she's not going to show us the goods, she wants to make sure we are thinking about her wrinkled bits. Seriously, I hope girls aren't growing up everywhere emulating her. A better role model would be Betty Crocker. Or Aunt Jemimah. Or my office chair. And in true Lindsay fashion, the last one shows her nip.



HC