Scarlett's ugly dress, Anne wants to get naked, X-tina teases and Jessica stands there

--Scarlett shows off her "love handles" in the worst dress ever worn to a red-carpet event. At the premiere of The Prestige, the normally stunning Johansson showed up in this garbage. Although she's been voted the "Sexiest Woman Alive", dresses like this don't do much to keep that idea going. Why would she purposefully wear a dress that smashes her cans against her chest and makes it look like she has a John Belushi gut? Who knows, I guess she's reached the hotness level that even if she showed up with a case of Natural light, a beer gut and a 5 o'clock shadow, we'd still think she was hot. And other Scarlett news, there maybe an audio sex tape surfacing. I don't know if that's something to really get excited about, because I can listen to my neighbors bang through the walls, and even if I picture Scarlett, I know it's not her. I need the video evidence before I'm interested.

-- So Anne Hathaway decided to let everyone know that she didn't have a problem posing nude in a recent article in PR Inside. This is a simply fantastic attitude by one of the hottest young actresses that never gets mentioned. And I'll tell you something, saying things like this and actually doing those nude scenes will move her right to the top of everyone's lists. Funny thing is, Anne wasn't really going out on a limb here, she's done nude scenes already in Brokeback Mountain and Havoc. My favorite part of the quote is this though,

"I grew up studying classic painters. They certainly didn't shy away from nudes. I don't find anything morally reprehensible about it. I think it is different to pose in a pair of hotpants on the cover of Stuff magazine. That's something I'm just not interested in doing."

She'd rather be naked than wearing something out of Paris' closet? Very impressive Anne, very impressive.

--Christina Aguilera is just one big ball of tease. There's no two ways about it. She's either wearing an opaque shirt without a bra or a see through shirt WITH a bra. The best look we had was here, but who dresses this girl, one of the Pussycat dolls? Christina, I think we are all a little tired of the foreplay and ready for the X-tina show.

--So Jessica Simpson, our modern day Dolly Parton, wants to star on the big screen with guess who? Dolly Parton. Not only will she be playing at Dollywood like we told you here, she'd like to work with the busty star.

"That is just something that after that I could die and go to heaven and be just fine."

Really, that's all it takes for you to be "just fine"? I need at least a weekend at the Playboy mansion, 3 truckloads of cheese, and ownership of one of America's finest breweries, Shiner Brewery. At least working with a someone who has entertained for over 40 years is a decent goal. If her goals had been: make a fool of myself multiple times on TV and marry a former boy-bander with poser tattoos, she'd be gone from our lives. I'm just going to keep my fingers crossed because if this collaboration results in a remake of The Simpson's episode Homer to the Max, we can have Jess and Dolly revising the famous roles of either Chesty LaRue, Busty St. Clair, or Hootie McBoob. Tremendous casting if I do say so.