Salma and Kate's jumblies, Paris and Nikki & Mariah & Mary

-- I found these pictures of Salma Hayek was out last week at some event, showing off her enormous boobies, so I decided I would talk about them again just for the hell of it. But then the news came out that she and the twins were voted 2006 Best Nude scene by Mr. Skin and she got bumped up to story numero uno (That's story number 1 for our non-tamale eating friends). The were for some movie called Ask the Dust and you can watch it here and here. They are kind of blurry and dark, but you can still see those giant jumblies. And honestly, if Salma is naked and doesn't have a mustache and uni brow like in Frida, I'm a fan.



-- Kate Moss was in Jamaica recently showing off her 10-year old boy physique and a couple topless pictures have shown up. You can see them here, here, and here, but I don't know who would want to look at them. Seriously, unless you find virtually non-existent boobs with pencil erasers sticking off of them for nipples attractive, these pictures aren't for you. If her boobs were food, they would be tater-tots on top of half a hamburger bun. Okay, I'll stop. Or, a milk dud on top of a portabello mushroom. Now I'm done.

-- Who knows what the hell these 2 whores are doing, but you can't tell me that you wouldn't mind jumping in the back of that limo for half an hour. Mainly for 2 reasons though. First off, I'd have to ask what the hell they were doing in that 2nd picture (my guess is trading STD's - you can trade them like baseball cards right?) and secondly because Paris has probably done just about everything, so who better to give a Dirty Sanchez too. Actually, I'd only do it if I had my patented Aids - B - Gone spray. In the gallon container.

-- And lastly Mariah Carey is trying to block the porn star / gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey from trademarking her name because she feels there could be some confusion. Damn right there could be some confusion, they are both big breasted bimbos with no talent. Mariah may have sold a lot more albums, but I bet Mary has sold a lot more hummers. And look at their pictures, they actually do look slightly similar. Kind of like how I look like George Clooney and my wiener looks like a horse's junk. Maybe if Mariah wants to stop being confused with a saggy-boobed, slightly flabby porn star, she should stop parading around as a saggy-boobed, slightly flabby pop star.

HC