Firecrotch is hitched?

Say it isn’t so. My favorite little giraffe may have gone and gotten hitched to Harry “Pink” Morton. The always reliable Star reports that Lindsay called her mom and announced “Mom, I’m getting married.” I’m going to choose not to believe this one. If it were true, we’d have seen her in a “Mrs. Morton” bikini by now. And, if I can’t have her, no one can. She’s too young, and her breasts (and other parts) are too untamed for one man.

Maybe she’ll pull out the potato sack for the honeymoon.

HC