Wednesday, September 13, 2006

LL is pantyless..again ,Britney reproduces…again, Paris punked…again, Claire Danes in Paris…again, and more…again

– The panty-less baby giraffe is at it again. I don’t know what this girl’s deal is; maybe she thinks that if she ‘forgets’ her panties enough times she’ll bump her arch-rival, Paris, from the headlines. Whatever she thinks, it’s working, because unless she starts dropping trow on a daily basis and I get tired of staring at her wrinkled bits, she’ll headline this site. Here's the uncensored picture:



– It looks like our favorite corn-dog eating champion has once again reproduced. The story came out last week that she was having Jailynn (her aptly named son - and by the way, when did Jailynn become a name, much less a GUY’S name? I know, I know, it’s her parent’s names combined, I’m just so confused by the insanity), but now it is reported that she gave birth to a 6 pound, 12 ounce ball of redneck at 2AM this morning. KFed apparently had to lay off the bong for a couple hours and drive her to the hospital for her C-section. I can only imagine how this scene played out at the Spears - Federline household:

Britney (screaming through a mouthful of ding-dongs) - “Kevin, I think my water
broke, but on the good side, I think my feet are finally clean.”
KFed (in a
smokey haze) - “Damn biatch, what have I done told you about interupting my
‘private’ time?”
Britney - “Please…pretty please will you take me? I don’t
want to have to take the bus to the hospital again! And can we get an extra bag
of Cheetos for the road?”
And so is the life of Cletus and his beautiful
bride Brandine. Here’s a pic of Brandine and a rendering of offspring #2.


– Well Paris has been spunked…I mean punked again. Richard Branson, the uber-billionaire founder of Virgin records recently threw a Mad Hatter bash for his son’s birthday. Enter Paris Hilton, the slut of all sluts, an unbelievably classless woman with no discernable talents who decided to turn this party into her very own by coming dressed as Alice. Re-enter Branson who, once he got wind of this, had all of the 60 cocktail waitresses dress as Alice so she would blend in as the waitstaff. To top it off, he “accidentally” thought she was a waitress and attempted to order a drink and walked off. Screw Ashton Kutcher, hire Branson to host the next year of Punk’d. That story was simply fantastic, needs no comments from me, and actually put a hop in my step.


– What in the world have you been up to Claire Danes? I can’t remember the last movie I saw her in besides Terminator 3, and I’m slightly embarrassed to say that I saw that movie (but damn, have you seen Arnold’s ass lately? Mmmmm). Anyway, just like I had a Kate Hudson story just for the hell of it yesterday, I’m doing the same with Claire. And just like Kate, she’s not wearing a bra. But unlike Kate, she’s wearing a white blouse that tends to be a little see-through when photographed in front of the Eiffel Tower. Damn Frenchies and their trick photography!


– In what is becoming a daily edition of WTF were they thinking, we have our newest entry, Carmen Electra. I guess these are pictures from a fashion show, but for all I know, they could be pictures from her Vegas wedding to some freak like Marilyn Manson. Or since they are remaking every movie that made at least $10, maybe this is an audition for Young Frankenstein. I bet Gene Wilder is rolling over in his grave. Oh…he’s not dead.


– And finally, the clip is out for the new James Bond Trailer. It looks good except I can’t get over the guy that plays Bond. He looks so full of himself, like some sort of blonde version of Steven Seagal. I can’t decide if it looks good or not, so you can take a gander and decide for yourself.


HC

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