Monday, November 13, 2006

Movie Day

So it's Monday and no one wants to be back at work. Especially if you drank entirely too much on Saturday, watching your alma matter lose again, and spent yesterday trying to recover but aren't quite there yet. I don't know anyone that happened too though....

First up, a couple of movie trailers. Spiderman 3 looks pretty sweet, and even if The Transformers & The Simpsons are 15 years too late, I'll still have to see them. Homer just makes me giggle. I guess that might make me a little immature. Actually humping my desk right now is why I'm immature.



Next up, we have some silly Canadians. there really isn't another description that suits this video, so that's it.




Chase Sampson is a God Damn idiot. That's it. His life is over. If I saw him on the street, I'd punch him in the stomach and kick him in the balls for being such a damn moron. Watch and see.




How they got Mike Tyson and Bobby Brown to pull this one off, I'll never know. Oh yeah, I do know. They are both completely insane.



And last up, are monkeys ever not funny?





HC

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Brit's back, Elle's nips, Scarlett's artsy, and LL is naughty as usual

-- Elle MacPherson and her 43 year old hot bod was out for all to see recently. This woman is simply amazing, and her nips aren't bad either. I don't know what she does to keep her foxy looks, but it sure is working. We might need to rename the Diane Lane Hottie Posse to Elle's Elite.



-- I don't know if these pictures of Scarlett are old or new, but who cares. The ones with her and Dita Von Teese are smoking hot.






-- So lets get all of the facts straight. First Britney laid off the Cheetos and Bon-bons and got back to her pop-star sexpot shape. Then she laid down the smack down on K-Fag and filed for divorce against his poser ass. Then she showed up all over NYC and specifically on Letterman with her new hot bod and new 'do. So where in all of this did her giant jumblies reappear? I need someone to do an accurate time line like you used to see in your history books. We can sandwich Britney's boobs reappearance with Anna Nicole's horrific C-section being shown on Entertainment Tonight and K-Fag's free concert at the House of Blues last night.






-- My favorite little giraffe girl has been in hiding lately, but now she's back. Lindsay Lohan was out shopping, wearing a sweater with an anchor pointed at her naughty bits. This girl just epitomizes class. Is she advertising that she's easy like Sunday morning now? I guess if she's not going to show us the goods, she wants to make sure we are thinking about her wrinkled bits. Seriously, I hope girls aren't growing up everywhere emulating her. A better role model would be Betty Crocker. Or Aunt Jemimah. Or my office chair. And in true Lindsay fashion, the last one shows her nip.



HC

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Sports Crumbs -- 11/8/06

-- How good are the Indianapolis Colts? With convincing wins on the road over Denver (6-2) and New England (6-2) the Colts pushed their record to 8-0 and are the only undefeated team in the NFL after Chicago's shocking loss at home to the Dolphins. The Colts offense is still clicking along at a high rate with Peyton Manning leading the air show, but the defense has been the big question mark as it is every year. The Colts' run defense has been much maligned this season and for good reason. They rank dead last in the NFL in yards allowed, giving up an amazing 165 yards a game through 8 games. They are giving up 5.3 yards a rushing attempt! They saying goes, "Defense wins championships", but I don't think that will hold true this year because of the Colts' performance in the last 2 games. First going to Denver, a team that had allowed only 2 offensive TDs in the first 6 games, and putting up 31 points in the victory and then going and playing and beating his archenemies, Tom Brady and the New England Patriots, in Foxboro were 2 huge statement wins. Now with a 2 game advantage in the standings and 3 games if you include tiebreakers, it looks like all roads will go through Indy to get to the Super Bowl in the AFC. Will their offense be able to carry them to Miami and Super Bowl XLI? I'd put my money on Peyton's laser, rocket arm any day.

-- And at the other extreme, we have the Oakland Raiders. Now they may not have the worst record in the league, Arizona sits at 1-7 while Houston, Miami, Detroit, Pittsburgh, Tennessee, Cleveland and Tampa Bay all sit at 2-6 along with Oakland, but they are easily the most dysfunctional team in the league and are headed no where. At least most of those teams on the list have some young talent and are in some stage of rebuilding. In Oakland, it is hard to name one marquee player in his prime besides Lamont Jordan and Randy Moss, but after he dropped as many passes as he caught on Monday night, I don't know if Moss even belongs in that category. This team is simply wretched and needs to be blown up and completely rebuilt. Brady Quinn, welcome to Oakland!

-- Now on to a little Golf for your ass. Paul Azinger was announced as the new Ryder Cup captain for the 2008 Ryder cup at Valhalla, Kentucky. Azinger has already stirred things up by changing how players make the team (now it will go off of the money list for the current year of the cup, not the 2 year system currently in place) and only 8 players will automatically make the team, giving Azinger 2 additional captains picks. This is the exact kind of shake-up the US team needed to try to get back on track against those pesky Euro's in one of golf's most exciting events. Azinger also made some comments about the world's best player, Tiger Woods that were right on target. Azinger said Tiger was "in it to make history" and is such an individual player, "he doesn't like to share" with his teammates. He also said that he isn't a "natural born leader of 12 guys", but just needs the right partner, not just someone he gets along with, but someone who won't be intimidated playing with him. Azinger is right on target with all of his comments on Woods. Woods is by far and away the greatest golfer on the planet and maybe all time, but the team game just doesn't suit him. Why? Well, when he plays by himself, he can get himself out of the trouble he gets into. Not all his playing partners, much less many people in the world can hit the shots he can and get out of those situations so it makes for a difficult situation. Hopefully, Azinger can work his magic for the US and get us out our Ryder Cup funk and back onto our winning ways.

HC

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Cletus and Maydene calling it quits

-- In a move that shocked no one at the trailer park they came from, the First family of White Trash has called it quits. Britney Spears filed for divorce today from Kevin "K-Fag" Federline citing irreconcilable differences. This is no surprise, since their differences include: attractiveness (one is extremely hot, one is an extreme poser), talent (one has sold millions and millions of albums, the other one's current album is ranked #8,939 on Amazon's Sales Rank - no, that's not a joke - by comparison, Yanni's Live at the Acropolis is #5,666 and Milli Vanilli's lip syncing hit Girl You Know It's True is #3,387), and fame (one makes headlines when she cuts her hair or marries a stupid poser dancer while the other stalled a show last night in NYC for 3 hours because there were less than 100 people there to see him). How this match made in Hollywood heaven didn't work, I'll never know. Here's a video of Britney's surprise appearance on David Letterman last night showing off her new haircut (that looks like it was done with a Flow-Bee), but I guess that's what you do when you are new on the market and a copy of the divorce papers actually filed yesterday.



HC

Biel's booty, Salma stripping, and more

-- Jessica Biel has quite a ba-donk-a-donk. It's like a shelf. A fantastic shelf made of gold that serves free beer all day long. It really is a work of art. Screw Michelangelo and his sculptures. Jessica's booty is the new St. Bootylicious.



-- So I've never seen this Ugly Betty show, but I can only imagine it is about ugly people, circus performers and maybe carnies with a title like that. But, then I came along this clip from the show with smoking Salma Hayek. Grrrrrrrrr! I don't know if she is on this show all the time, and I seriously doubt I will ever watch a show about freaks, but that's an impressive rack. And what time is this TV show on? If it is on before 9PM, I'd be shocked if they let them show those milk-makers when kids could be watching. I'm just happy to see some new pics of Salma so I can try to replace the images of her and that uni-brow from Frida. Yuck.

Here's the YouTube clip:




More pics of Salma stripping...



-- Here are some pics of celebs in new magazines coming out this month. Should make for some sexy holiday reading!

First is Cameron Diaz in W Magazine. She looks pretty damn hot with those dark locks. I can't even name the last movie she was in though, so hopefully this was some press on something new she's coming out with.

Pics from the magazine:





Oops from the photo shoot:


--Next up is Monica Bellucci in GQ Magazine. She hasn't done much in the US since The Passion of the Christ, so like Diaz, lets hope this is a sign of more of her to come.







-- And last we have Jeri Ryan. Jeri's focused mainly on TV work the last couple of years and at age 38 (she turns 39 in 3 months) she's definitely an honorary member of the Diane Lane Hottie club. I need to find out where those monthly meetings are, that is one hot group of cougars...




HC